Dedication: To Almighty.
God’s Love was the topic of thought over a hundreds of sermons and meditating sessions which I heard in my life. But, to be frank, most often I rarely used to understand His love. The knowledge of His ultimate Love has not entered into my heart and I only heard about God’s Love; had only little experience.
I was not joyful for this life; I never thanked God for this beautiful life. When I see my brothers and sisters thanking our Lord, I imitated them and pretended myself thanking God. My relationship with God was that of dog showing loyalty to his master for food, care and whatever it wanted from him.
Thanks to a couple of charismatic retreats, I learned the need and practice of personal prayer. They taught me how to pray and trained me to use Lord’s Prayer for making a beautiful hour(s) with God: Personal Prayer. Even during my PP, I concentrated on the repentance and purification part. I was not much successful in meditating God’s love or the part of the PP that allow us to experience God’s love. All what I do is to thank Him for all things that I consider as good. I pretended before God and myself that I am thanking for the difficulties I faced in Life, for all painful moments and for all that I consider bad. My heart was not filled with the real gratitude and with the same pain of those painful moments I used the words I learned from here and there for the thanks giving.
But God doesn’t want to me to be the same again. His grace reached my heart and told He loves me a lot. [I don’t want to be minimal in describing the experience of His love, but I am helpless.] One day, at some stage in my PP, suddenly this portion of the scripture came to my mind:
[9] And I tell you, Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
I opened my Bible and found the words from Luke11:9. But it didn’t touch my heart for a moment and a negative thought came to mind. I doubted my eligibility and misjudged that this was not applicable for me. I continued my reading and it was as follows.
[10] For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
[11] What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;
[12] or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
[13] If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"
I got stuck by the word “how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him”. Then only I realized that I am praying to my father. I listened to God’s voice and it was like this.
“I am your father.”
“You are asking to your father”
“I am not expecting you to be a beggar before me for you are my son.”
“You shall not ask without faith like begging to a person where you may or may not get what you expect. Ask me with that freedom of a son and with that belief that you will certainly answered.”
I can’t explain the joy that filled my heart. God talked to me for the first time in my life! I never thought God will consider me – I didn’t have that faith. So I learned how to ask to my father and the results was amazing. I also learned that faith is not a simple matter to believe the existence of God or asking for a favour and getting it from Him.
But again my attitude has not changed. I thanked God for only the joyful moments and never saw His grace for me during the difficult times. I continued my prayers as such with a little difference that I got a small faith that I am asking to my father.
Two years passed, I found many personalities sent by God to influence me.
He taught me a lot of things through different people. Finally, at this phase, He allowed me to meditate the purpose of my life. Also my mentor is helping me a lot in this. Gaining this from the meditation, I learned that everything happened and happening in life is with a purpose planned by God.
Meditating this new fact in mind, on a journey to my home that could take three hours from my place of work, I started thinking about myself. I was sharing all my sorrows, the unseen wounds of my heart with Him. I told God that I never felt my life is beautiful and I am not able to rejoice. I shared everything: incident by incident and person by person that hurt me. I complained because I felt that the wounds in my heart have programmed my mindset to act wrong every time. I could easily get fallen due to these wounds. When all my complaints are finished, God started answering me through thoughts.
“What ever happened to me in my life is with the knowledge of God”
“His Grace is sufficient for me to succeed when I face temptations; His Grace can overcome and heal my wounds”
“God knows me more than me”
“He loves me more than I can imagine”
“I were in His care even before my birth”
[….. I missed the remaining part from my memory because I was made so joyful and thankful in heart for every thing in my heart]
This is how I became a thankful man and a rejoicing human being.
This is my testimony about how His Love filled into my heart and how I was healed. These days He is revealing me how he turned sorrows into blessings and the reason behinds those situations. Today when I think about my past, gratitude fill my heart and I couldn’t stop praising you my Lord.
You are a wonderful father and an awesome God!!!
(… to be continued; forever)
Jobin.
God’s Love was the topic of thought over a hundreds of sermons and meditating sessions which I heard in my life. But, to be frank, most often I rarely used to understand His love. The knowledge of His ultimate Love has not entered into my heart and I only heard about God’s Love; had only little experience.
I was not joyful for this life; I never thanked God for this beautiful life. When I see my brothers and sisters thanking our Lord, I imitated them and pretended myself thanking God. My relationship with God was that of dog showing loyalty to his master for food, care and whatever it wanted from him.
Thanks to a couple of charismatic retreats, I learned the need and practice of personal prayer. They taught me how to pray and trained me to use Lord’s Prayer for making a beautiful hour(s) with God: Personal Prayer. Even during my PP, I concentrated on the repentance and purification part. I was not much successful in meditating God’s love or the part of the PP that allow us to experience God’s love. All what I do is to thank Him for all things that I consider as good. I pretended before God and myself that I am thanking for the difficulties I faced in Life, for all painful moments and for all that I consider bad. My heart was not filled with the real gratitude and with the same pain of those painful moments I used the words I learned from here and there for the thanks giving.
But God doesn’t want to me to be the same again. His grace reached my heart and told He loves me a lot. [I don’t want to be minimal in describing the experience of His love, but I am helpless.] One day, at some stage in my PP, suddenly this portion of the scripture came to my mind:
[9] And I tell you, Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
I opened my Bible and found the words from Luke11:9. But it didn’t touch my heart for a moment and a negative thought came to mind. I doubted my eligibility and misjudged that this was not applicable for me. I continued my reading and it was as follows.
[10] For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
[11] What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;
[12] or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
[13] If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"
I got stuck by the word “how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him”. Then only I realized that I am praying to my father. I listened to God’s voice and it was like this.
“I am your father.”
“You are asking to your father”
“I am not expecting you to be a beggar before me for you are my son.”
“You shall not ask without faith like begging to a person where you may or may not get what you expect. Ask me with that freedom of a son and with that belief that you will certainly answered.”
I can’t explain the joy that filled my heart. God talked to me for the first time in my life! I never thought God will consider me – I didn’t have that faith. So I learned how to ask to my father and the results was amazing. I also learned that faith is not a simple matter to believe the existence of God or asking for a favour and getting it from Him.
But again my attitude has not changed. I thanked God for only the joyful moments and never saw His grace for me during the difficult times. I continued my prayers as such with a little difference that I got a small faith that I am asking to my father.
Two years passed, I found many personalities sent by God to influence me.
He taught me a lot of things through different people. Finally, at this phase, He allowed me to meditate the purpose of my life. Also my mentor is helping me a lot in this. Gaining this from the meditation, I learned that everything happened and happening in life is with a purpose planned by God.
Meditating this new fact in mind, on a journey to my home that could take three hours from my place of work, I started thinking about myself. I was sharing all my sorrows, the unseen wounds of my heart with Him. I told God that I never felt my life is beautiful and I am not able to rejoice. I shared everything: incident by incident and person by person that hurt me. I complained because I felt that the wounds in my heart have programmed my mindset to act wrong every time. I could easily get fallen due to these wounds. When all my complaints are finished, God started answering me through thoughts.
“What ever happened to me in my life is with the knowledge of God”
“His Grace is sufficient for me to succeed when I face temptations; His Grace can overcome and heal my wounds”
“God knows me more than me”
“He loves me more than I can imagine”
“I were in His care even before my birth”
[….. I missed the remaining part from my memory because I was made so joyful and thankful in heart for every thing in my heart]
This is how I became a thankful man and a rejoicing human being.
This is my testimony about how His Love filled into my heart and how I was healed. These days He is revealing me how he turned sorrows into blessings and the reason behinds those situations. Today when I think about my past, gratitude fill my heart and I couldn’t stop praising you my Lord.
You are a wonderful father and an awesome God!!!
(… to be continued; forever)
Jobin.
